One of the side effects of being a 26-year-old young woman nurturing my creative side, is that I actually still have to spend most of my time attempting to put on a brave, girlboss persona. Yes, I am hilarious, interesting, and fun, but I also daylight as a woman in economics. I spend hours in an office environment that is potentially not the best fit for my values and principles, but I do it nonetheless because it pays the bills and makes my parents respect me.
That being said, I’m going to change up my vibe a little bit today to talk about my experience as a dynamic young woman in the drab industry of office work. I will reveal my biggest corporate hot take: doing business on the golf course is both ethically and morally wrong.
Golf Hatership Origins
About a year ago, I attended an event thrown by a local networking group for young people. The event promised free food and drinks, social time with my cousin and my community, and a lesson on networking on the golf course. The panel consisted of three men, each of which made me more annoyed than the last. Here’s how they kicked the event off:
Guy #1, the golfer.
The first guy who spoke, told us the rules of golf. He explained that many networking tournaments are played “scramble style” so it was okay if you weren’t very good at golf, you could still go. He also explained a bunch of rules that make me neither smarter nor more interesting to know, like what a mulligan is. I also was able to pick up on his ambient bad vibes that soured not only this experience but also created at least a full year’s worth of chaos for people that I know.
Guy #2, the random old dude.
Nothing against old dudes, I think it is important to include and respect older adults in your community. However, this guy, the self-proclaimed king of doing business on the golf course, had the common affliction that older men often have where they can’t talk about women or girls in a respectful way. His biggest crime, though? Telling the inspiring story about how he hired the beverage cart girl from his golf tournament because she was “so good at customer service.” It wasn’t until the next week when they were doing the paperwork that he found out she was only 16. He still hired her anyways.
Guy #3, the guy that I literally work for.
Guy #3 definitely did the most damage to me personally this night, but I want to clear up before I get into the story that I really respect this guy. If you’re reading this and think this might be you, you have been forgiven. But when you told me I looked like I would make an excellent bev cart girl when I said I wasn’t really interested in playing golf, I never stopped thinking about that. Like, I look good enough to be hired by random men for my “customer service skills” or what?? You knew I was an exceptional young woman in economics since I work for you, why did you comment about my looks at the networking event?
The Q&A
When I’m moody at events because of speakers I disagree with, I always abuse my power as an audience member to come up with hardball questions that might reveal to everyone else that they aren’t experts speaking absolute truth. I framed my question for the panel around some of the common out-groups in networking scenarios like women, people of color, people with disabilities, and people that cannot afford frivolous events like a golf tournament during the workday. I asked the panel to identify a comparable alternative that is more accessible and inviting to these groups. Here are the answers I got from the speakers:
Guy # 1 said there was absolutely nothing comparable in business and networking. If you don’t golf, you don’t win.
Guy# 2 said if for whatever reason you can’t do it, you should just work the bev cart. Can’t fit in with the big dogs? Try serving them instead.
Guy #3 said if you don’t want to go golf, you’re just choosing to miss out on opportunities for yourself.
So, the moral of the story to everyone in the audience was: if for some reason you can’t or don’t want to golf, you should serve the people who golf in pursuit of opportunity. If you choose not to golf, you have no opportunity.
From then on, my lofty, philosophical goal as a young woman in economics is to reveal and dismantle the institution of business and networking on the golf course. I will now delve into arguments from my own personal experiences on the ethics and morals of doing business on the golf course.
It is Unethical to do Business on the Golf Course
I must start this argument by reminding you that the context in which I work is more public sector oriented, nonprofit, government, and healthcare related professions all fall into this context. This context is also distinctly different than the private sector, which is why you may notice that my ethical standards are stricter than what a die-hard laissez faire capitalist might be inclined to follow.
In my industry, it is not good stewardship of the public good to engage in deal making or even give the appearance of favoritism with our private contractors on the golf course. In the government sector specifically, anything that results in the transaction of public funds should really be reviewed with a scrupulous eye.
Outside of this context, though, it may still be unethical to network on conduct business on the golf course. My four guiding values in a professional setting are fairness, accessibility, patience, and curiosity. Doing legit work outside of the work/business setting does not align with my personal values, specifically accessibility and fairness. If the business opportunity cannot exist for everyone, then I do not want it. For people with different sets of values, or maybe the ethically bankrupt, doing business on the golf course might be ethical. But not for me.
It is Immoral to do Business on the Golf Course
Golfing is a legacy example of doing business for able-bodied white men with time to spare and money to blow on equipment, drinks, and the tee time. But as the job market expanded to include people of color, women, and provided more protections for social classes to get a taste of being a money-earning worker, the game of golf did not expand to include the new players in business. Formerly whites-only golf courses, private country clubs, inaccessible childcare, expensive equipment, and large spaces that require walking in the sun still exclude most groups that aren’t able-bodied white men with time to spare and money to blow.
Golf is a persisting symbol of exclusion to me. the accessibility of a sport should not be equal to the accessibility of deals and opportunities. Linking those concepts together is a vile tactic perpetuated by the elite to keep business success white and male. Maybe certain individuals are strong enough to force their way into these golf sessions, but I’m not sure how to feel included in environments where I am clearly in the outgroup. How can I confidently play on the golf course without wondering if my teammates would rather me be their bev cart girl?
I will not consider golf business and networking moral until it is accessible and inclusive for anyone and everyone.
This is NOT How I Want to be Networking Anyways
While I’m hating on golfing, let me hate on networking in a more general sense. When you think of networking activities, you might think of the after work happy hour or the aforementioned golf tournaments, or maybe just a company meal. You know, classic men stuff where they get the opportunity to be predatory animals on the hunt for opportunities.
Well as a woman, I am not interested in doing the classic shit that men do. I don’t want to score the next deal; I’m looking to meet peers that can share mutual support with myself and our network as we navigate work and life together. I’m not looking for 20 people to hit up next time I’m looking for a job, I’m looking for 1-2 people I can connect with on a personal level, to create a community of similar individuals who are passionate about what we do.
I do especially well networking with other young women, specifically at women-centered events, affinity groups for people with similar experiences, and networking groups for young people. I want my network to be a socialized mutual aid community, not a long list of people who won’t say hey until they need something.
I just think it is a shame that there are such fewer specialized opportunities for different groups of people to network and we are all just expected to adapt ourselves to participate in the archaic networking practices perpetuated by the old timey men who still run our society and only pretend they don’t discriminate against people who are different from them.
I Will No Longer Participate in the Charade
So that’s it, I’m done trying to fit in with the office nonsense of networking like a man or on the golf course. I’m going to skip the happy hour and I’m going to skip the golf tournaments to stay true to my values of fairness and accessibility.
I’ll network where I’m already at, my women’s group, my volleyball team, my young people’s brigade in the community, and the friends I’ve made along the way in school and my personal life. I’m already surrounded by brilliant women in my circle; I can start by clearly expressing to them that we are not bound by the segments of our lives. I can be there for you as your friend, and also, we can be networking partners and share our expertise and network amongst ourselves. No men necessary.
OKAY Sorry for Hating
Sometimes I let my moral/ethical opinions get the better of me. Yes, I am invoking moral high ground against all you die-hard golf networkers, but it isn’t that deep. You’re not a bad person for doing it. I am a principles-based and values-driven hater. Classic angst for a creative who somehow wound up in economics.
Do you agree or disagree with my take on golf? How about networking in general? Is anyone else stuck in office purgatory? Let me know in the comments!
Something New…
I will never ask for a paid subscription on Substack, but in an attempt to pursue my passion for writing so I could potentially one day leave the job that makes me want to enlist, I’m introducing my Buy Me A Coffee page!
From this page, you can securely hand over one-time support if you enjoy my content and/or want to engage with me as a writer! I’ll be uploading all of my posts to that page as well. There is no obligation at all to participate in this, I just want to be very vocal and intentional about the seriousness of my creative pursuits at this juncture.
About Quintessential
Thank you so much for reading! Quintessential is a collection of personal writings about how I am managing to live my life authentically as myself. You may be interested in this publication if you:
Are a young woman trying to make it in this world;
Enjoy niche topics;
Care about your communities around you;
Don’t take life too seriously; and
Want to know what makes me, me!